Restoring Hope
Practical Appreciative Inquiry based strategies to effectively resolve grief and resentment.
What Readers Say
This book is a gold mine of practical methods to make things better.
Ed Leidel, Episcopal Bishop and Congregational Coach serving North America.
Rob Voyle has produced the most comprehensive manual for dealing with the consequences of serious negative life events.
Andy Austin, author, The Rainbow machine: Tales from a Neurolinguist's Journal.
This book is filled with things you can actually do to heal from grief and resentment. Whether you use this book on your own, as a member of a group, or to help others, you will find here a resource rich with hands-on and effective strategies for healing. Jim Finley, author, Merton's Palace of Nowhere.
Retreat Leader
The Rev. Dr. Rob Voyle is a leader in the development and use of appreciative inquiry in church and coaching settings.
Rob's Approach to Retreats
- Helpful: Retreats must provide practical, sustainable solutions for today's challenges.
- Humorous: Creativity and humor go together as people enjoy new insights.
- Healing: We create opportunities for people to experience transformational insights that lead to new ways of living, working, and being in the world.
>>
See more on Rob's
Helpful, Humorous, Healing
approach to training.
The Appreciative Way
Discover the essentials of the
Appreciative Way in this fast
read format book by
Rob and Kim Voyle.
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Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness:
A Retreat for Personal Healing
Are you tired of living with resentment?
- Is there someone in your life you just can't forgive?
- Do you want to find a more resourceful way of dealing
with bullies in your life? - Do you need to find self-forgiveness?
- Do you want a more compassionate way of being in the world?
Then bring your resentment and leave without it!
"Wow! 45 years of resentment its gone! Wow!"
comment by retreat participant as she set
herself free from her resentment
Retreat Schedule: Forgiveness Retreat: Resolving Resentment
No Forgiveness Retreat: Resolving Resentment workshops are scheduled at this time.
Please see workshop schedule for a complete listing of all retreats and training programs.
In addition to these retreats we also provide practioner forgiveness training programs.
Thank you. Two words seem too few to give you the appreciation I feel for you, your time,
your expertise, your wisdom today. I now feel that I can live again. Thank you.
E.A. forgiveness participant.
Forgiveness is not Reconciliation!
One of the main reasons people don't forgive is that they confuse forgiveness with reconciliation.
Forgiveness: Is how you personally resolve what has happened in your past.
Basic Rule of Forgiveness: The primary beneficiary of your forgiveness is yourself. When others have hurt you in the past forgiveness means you get to put down the hurt and leave it behind, rather than carry it resentfully into your future.
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. Nelson Mandela
Reconciliation: Is an agreement between two or more people on how they will live and work together in the future.
Basic Rule of Reconciliation: Never be reconciled to someone who does not share your values.
Jesus forgave the Romans and the Pharisees, but he was never reconciled to the mission of Rome or the mission of the Pharisees.
Forgiving and Forgetting is Very Unwise
Forgetting bad things is a real problem, because then we will have to repeat them to remember that they are painful.
Sometimes we need to forgive and remember rather than forgive and forget that some people are dangerous and shouldn't be trusted because they haven't demonstrated trustworthy behavior.
For More Information on Forgiveness
Most of this retreat is based on Rob Voyle's book Restoring Hope: Appreciative Strategies to Resolve Resentment and Grief. You can purchase it from The Appreciative Way Bookstore.
Rob has also written a brief description of the forgiveness process in his blog:
Teach Them to Forgive this Sunday and 9/11: Resentment, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation.
You can also listen to Rob teach on Resolving Painful Memories
Retreat Outline and Objectives
This retreat is provided in a one-day format. The specific times and schedule will be dependent on the hosting facility. Please check the schedule for location specific times.
This retreat is designed to lead you through a series of processes to enable you to forgive others and yourself.
Please Note: You Won't be Asked to Share your Story
You have been shamed once and there is no need to be shamed again, I do not need to know who or what you are resenting to set you free from your resentment. - Rob Voyle
You Will Not be asked to share or tell your story to anyone.
Your experience is private and you will work on it in the privacy of your own mind and heart.
In this retreat we will focus on:
- "How" you resent, or the dynamics of resentment rather than the "who" and "what" or the content of your resentment.
- "How" you forgive or the dynamics of forgiveness.
Retreat Content
- Create basic internal resources such as the golden thread of life and unconditional love to create a stable foundation for forgiving others:
- Use the three faces of compassion: tenderness, fierceness, and mischievousness as an agent of transformation in the world.
- Discover how you uniquely organize and structure your internal experience of memories of past injuries, resentments, and states of forgiveness:
- Resolve your internal objections and resistance to forgiving; - seeking and satisfying your objections to forgiving to ensure sustainable outcomes:
- Restructure your internal experiences of resentment into internal experiences of forgiveness:
- Create internal resources to enable you to remain grounded and engaged, rather than resentful or avoidant, in the presence of people who violate your values:
- Discover the differences between guilt and shame and how to use the forgiveness strategies to achieve self-forgiveness:
What Participants Say
"Wow, 45 years of resentment is gone!"
"I can now feel compassion toward my boss rather than protect myself by being resentful
"I was able to be peacefully, rather than nauseous, around my ex-spouse at a family function"
If you would like to find the freedom of forgiveness register for one of our upcoming
Forgiveness Retreats.
Other Programs Related to Forgiveness
In addition to the one-day forgiveness retreat we also provide:
- Multi-Day or Weekend Restoring Hope Retreats for resolving grief and traumatic memories.
- Training program: Teach Them to Forgive for clergy and counselors
who want to teach others to forgive. - Congregation program:Teach Your Congregation to Forgive
which includes 5 sermon
and adult education forums to teach the forgiveness material to an entire congregation.
No Continuing Education Credit
This program is deliberately designed as a personal retreat in contrast to most of our training programs which provide professional continuing education for clergy coaches and therapists. Because it is a personal healing retreat, no continuing education credit is provided.
For Restoring Hope continuing education programs for coaches, clergy, and therapists please see: Restoring Hope Training.
Costs and Refund Policies
In general the one-day retreat will cost $75 per person.
Specific retreat prices may vary depending on the location hosts and sponsors.
Registration Refunds
Your registration is completely refundable, minus a 15% service fee, up to seven days before the start of the program. Thereafter the registration fee will be forfeited.
For more information please see our Cancellation Policies.
Accommodation
Day-long programs are typically at a sponsoring church or organization. No additional accommodation is provided.
Multi-day retreats are typically held at retreat centers and overnight accommodation is provided as well as meals between sessions. Commuter options are also typically available.
Because the locations differ accommodation costs will be specified of the specific retreat registration form.
Retreat Leader
Rob Voyle is an ordained Episcopal priest, psychologist, and executive coach. He is the Director of the Clergy Leadership Institute and is the author of: Restoring Hope: Appreciative Strategies to Resolve Grief and Resentment and Teach Your congregation How To Forgive. Rob has taught hundreds of people to forgive and find freedom and healing in the reality of unconditional love.
Here is what Episcopal priest Charles Fels said after he learned the forgiveness process:
"Rob Voyle is a great teacher and a gifted priest. His unique approach to forgiveness has been immediately beneficial to a number of people in my own parish. Rob's healing ministry really works!"
Registration for a Retreat
No Restoring Hope Retreats Are Currently Scheduled.
Email Rob Voyle if you would like to host a retreat for your constituents.
For a full listing of training programs please see: Training Schedule